Cassidy says:

With everything going on in life, I feel stuck. I feel like even though the world keeps spinning, I feel like I’m not rotating with it. I feel so isolated and lonely even when I’m not alone. What do I do?

Dear Cassidy,

Unfortunately, I think you’ve succumbed to the same mental health trap that we all find ourselves in. I’ll say this until the day I die: social media has given us far too much access to each other’s lives. There’s a multitude of reasons why this is terrible, but the biggest one is the inauthenticity of it. Social media has become a digital showcase of ‘who can prove they have the best life?’

And it’s awful. No one has a perfect life. Everyone feels sad. Everyone feels left behind. But everyone also wants to perpetuate the notion that they’re living a good life. And, thus, the cycle continues.

So where does that leave people like you and me? Well, it leaves us in the position you describe.

I’m 25 years old. I live with my dad. I’m unemployed. I have, like, three friends, and two of them don’t even live in the same state as me. I thought I met the man I was going to marry, but he broke up with me. And now, more than ever before, I truly feel like my life is just happening to me. I no longer feel like an active participant. I lay back and watch the days pass me. I feel alone all the time, even with friends and family.

So, what next?

Well, I’m a firm believer that, sometimes, if you can’t fix the system, you have to join it. Romanticize your life, even if you don’t feel like you’re doing anything. Go on a walk, take pictures of anything and everything that even slightly interests you. Go for a drive (if you can), go get ice cream on 9 PM on a Wednesday night. Take a shower and think of ten things you’re grateful for. Everyday, push yourself to do something you wouldn’t normally do, even if that “something” is mundane.

Because here’s the thing: everyone’s life is mundane at times. But the difference between someone who’s living life and someone who’s watching their life go by is how they treat those ordinary moments. Is grocery shopping a chore to you? Or is it something you have the privilege of doing?

It’s a hard mindset shift. And it seems so pointless at first, if not impossible to achieve entirely. Why should I be grateful for anything? Life is hard. If I’m being honest, I don’t always want to be here.

But that’s why this advice circulates as much as it does. It really makes all the difference. It’s hard, but the gratitude/romanticizing-your-own-life combo is the key to showing up everyday for yourself. Treat everyday as a new experience. There’s so much to learn everyday, so much to see, so much to do, even when it feels like we’re just sitting back while the world keeps spinning.

If there’s any way for you to engage with a new group of people, try that! I’ve been using Bumble BFF, and there are some cool people on there. If nothing else, it helps get me out of the house and opens my mind up to new people and new experiences.

And my last bit of advice is this: if you’re not already, start progressing toward achieving your wildest dreams. Because, at the end of the day, the time is going to pass regardless. You may as well fill it with things that bring you joy and fulfillment, right?

Just know, the world needs you. Tomorrow needs you. You’re loved and appreciated. Life is hard right now. I’m not sure what’s in the air, but this has been a transitional period for everyone I know, and we’re all wondering what we should be doing. We’re all feeling like the world is spinning without us. It’s weird, and it’s hard, and it sucks. But there’s so much that’s about to happen for you. You just have to plant the seeds and watch them grow. And, in the mean time, enjoy the watering process.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Thank you for writing. In case no one has told you recently, you’re doing great. I’m proud of you.

Best of luck. I can’t wait until you write back to let me know about all the amazing things that ended up happening to you after you wrote in.

xoxo,
The Winky PEach

*Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I am not licensed or qualified to offer any health advice. Any advice I give is based on personal experience and beliefs.*